Chuck Vs The Surveillance
by ThatOneChuckFan
Summary: What inspires CIA Agent Sarah Walker to call up her favorite nerd? A shot of liquid courage of course. Slight crack ensues as a surveillance tape catches the conversation. But who is watching? Chuck Vs The Angel of Death AU. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Hello, this is my first story for FF [unbeated so all mistakes are sorely mine and I take full responsibility for its badness]. It's an AU of Chuck Vs The Angel of Death, where the last 5 minutes [Capt. Awesome being taken by the ring, the Orange Orange Charah scene] didn't happen. Awesome is home safe and sound. Chuck and Sarah went their separate ways for the night. Comments are immensely enjoyed and criticism is badly needed. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Chuck. I have a conspiracy theory that Subway does, but no-one wants to hear about that**.**

**January 12, 2010 0200**

**Surveillance Camera #316 CIA**

**Echo Park, Burbank CA**

**Code Level: Confidential**

_////Noise///_

**Scanning Database for information on threat level**

**…....**

_Anonymous Noise identified: iPhone 3G Serial Number 9290008_

_Purchaser: Charles Irving Bartowski; Charles Charmical._

_Codename: Moron  
Clearance: Confidential_

**_........_**

MORON: He-hello? Sarah?

Unknown Threat: Chuck?

**............**

**Scanning Database for information on threat level**

**…....**

_///////10001101Voice Recognition Software 101010010////_

**…..**

_**Tracing other line**_

**…..**

**_Tracking Chip on Phone_**

**....**

_Match Confirmed._

_Central Intelligence Agency Agent Sarah Walker_

_Codename: Skirt_

_Clearance: Confidential_

**....**

**MORON**: Sarah, its 2 AM! What are you doing up?

**SKIRT**: I couldn't sleep. Decided to go to a bar.

**MORON**: At 2 AM in the morning? SKIRT: No. 11. Is Morgan there?

**MORON**: No, he got challenged to a Rock Band Tournament by a 13-year-old yesterday. Haven't seen him since

**MORON**: … How much have you had to drink, by the way?

**SKIRT**: A couple of beers. Some shots. Why?

**SKIRT**: Why?

**MORON**: ..It's just kind of odd, you never seemed like an alcoholic type to me.

**SKIRT**: Am not!

...

**SK**IRT: It's just the last few days have been kinda crazy. A drink or two never hurts.

**MORON**: Fair enough.

....

**MORON**: So, why did you decided to wake me up at 2 am?

**SKIRT**: A shot of vodka

**MORON**: Oh.

**.........**

**January 12, 2010 0300**

**SKIRT**: Chuck?

**MORON**: Okay so this would be her 12th. Yes Sarah?

**SKIRT**: What happens to coconut's milk when it decomposes?

**MORON**: I have no idea Sarah.

**SKIRT**: Well then you should find out.

**MORON**: Why?

**SKIRT**: This is bound to be useful information later on.

**MORON**: With my life, yeah.

**MORON**: So, in about, 5 hours from now, I'll go stop off at LargeMart and get a coconut and..

**SKIRT**: No.

**Moron**: What?

**SKIRT**: No.

**MORON**: Why?

**SKIRT**: Get the Coconut tree seeds.

**MORON**: But its simpler and easier to just..

**SKIRT**: And what's the fun of that?

**SKIRT**: Oh sure, you could try to kill James Bond without the laser beam. But what fun is that?

**SKIRT**: I'll tell you, none. No style whatsoever.

**MORON**: Alright alright, I'll go get the coconut.. Palm tree seeds.

**MORON**: Ah-ha! I knew I'd eventually rub off on you.

**SKIRT**: Too bad it isn't in more ways than one.

**............**

**January 12, 2010 0400**

**SKIRT**: ..Ah, Uggh. at' as' some good 'ard whiskey.

**MORON**: …Sarah, did you just have a Car Bomb.

**SKIRT**: Maybe.

**SKIRT**: Chuuuck?

**MORON**: Yes?

**SKIRT**: If a penguin and a dodo got in a fight, who would win?

**MORON**: Well, a dodo might have the upper hand because of its height differences but if this match was in Antarctica and they were…

**SKIRT**: A giraffe. Who'd turn into Chuck Norris.

**MORON**: An interesting theory. But if..

**SKIRT**: Chuck?

**MORON**: Yes Sarah?

**SKIRT**: Shut up.

**...........**

**January 12, 2010 0500**

**SKIRT**: Moe-Hee-Toes

**SKIRT**: Mooee-Heee-Toes

**SKIRT**: Moo*umph* Heee*umph* Toes *umph!*

**MORON**: Sarah?

**SKIRT**: Ch.. ch.. …Cuk?

**MORON**: Isn't this your 15th.

**MORON**: Mojito.

**SKIRT**: 'pears. So.

**SKIRT**: 'nother round, bartender!

**.......**

**January 12, 2010 0530**

**MORON**: Sarah, I think you should stop now, I feel..

**SKIRT**: 'ts all about your feelings huh Chuck?

**SKIRT**: Like that train station in Prague.

**SKIRT**: Damn it, I'm always the one who inanities the kiss.

**SKIRT**: Is it because you don't love me? Is it one of those brunette bitches?

**Moron**: No, ..

**SKIRT**: That's it! When I become Supreme Overlord Amazing Super Special Awesome Master President of the World!, I will issue a degree that all Woman who are Brunettes must shave their hair bald or dye their hair.

**SKIRT**: Oh, and men too, if you're into that thing.

**SKIRT**: Except you of course. You and Ellie. Hmm, maybe not Ellie. I've been reading way to many fanfics..

**................**

**January 12, 2010 0550**

**SKIRT**: Grow some Batosik! Batroki! Bartowkia! !

**MORON**: Sarah..?

_//Loud Violent Sounds Can Be Heard From The Phone//_

**MORON**: Hey, Are you all right Sarah? I heard some loud noises like crashing..

**SKIRT**: I'm , I'm fine. But the brunette next to me? Not so much.

**MORON**: Sarah..?

**SKIRT**: CHUCKMEUHCKMECKMECHU..CUKMECHUCKME*umph!* *ughmp!*CHUCKMEMEME..!!!

**.....**

**_///Signal Blanked///_**

**........**

**_//Searching Databanks for information///_**

**........**

**_////The Signal Disappearance seems to be from a Chip Deficit//_**

**..........**

**_///Liquid 99.9% Probability///_**

**......**

**_///Searching Databanks////_**

**.........**

**_///Chemical Match:///_**

**.......**

**_///H20////_**

**.......**

**///End Transmission///**

**...........**

**Sending Report…**

* * *

**.................**

**..**

**Send complete.**

**Arrived to Agent Shaw at 0600**

"_Interesting…"_


End file.
